THE REAL GURU
After a tongue-lashing last week about their under-performing, ‘BTE’ players got busy in week #5 as four competitors fired in 9-1 pickins. But it was David ‘Miguel’ Brown who topped the charts with his smooth Latin beat, outlasting the other three with a 34-31 tie-breaking score for the Dawgs over the Kitties.
Those 9-1 players included Gary ‘the Professor’ Goodaker, Keith ‘Storm Chaser’ Cartwright and Kent ‘Muscles’ Boswell. ‘Muscles’ is calling for a ‘BTE’ shutdown until the legislative body can render a verdict on the final decision. He thinks that certain people should be exempted from the actual score while other have to play by the rules. He’s hoping for waiver from Barry O within hours and hope he’s not ruled a ‘non-essential’ player, much like our VP.
Before we move on ... just one thought ... if they’re non-essential, why do we have them?
Meanwhile, ‘Miguel’ was last seen heading to Cali to help Lane Kiffin pack his designer luggage and move to a JUCO school somewhere in Montana. We think they will become tag-team Bingo callers. Those seasoned citizens will love those two. “Do you still think I’m pretty?”
Nice little collection of 8-2 players including T. Chris ‘Boy’ George, Jorge ‘Bill Bob’ Tauil, Bobby ‘Tank’ Gibson, and a man preparing for another worldwide golf tour George ‘the Legend’ Pirtle. “Break out the four-letter words boys!”
Also at 8-2, the best slightly-used mattress salesman in the nation, Phillip ‘Hot Tub’ Teer, rebounding from a dismal week #4.
Long list of 7-3 hackers including Snoop Dog’s best buddy ‘Toddler’ Griffin ... word ... along with Virginia ‘Southern Belle’ Gibson. And speaking of four-letter screams from the golf course, say hello to our little friend Aaron ‘Cougar Tamer’ Teer. Just signed a 3-year deal at the San Antonio Lions Club Haunted House ... the spookie with a Eric Holder mask (that will go over great in the Lone Star state) and slightly bleached-out ‘BTE’ tee.
‘Experts’ Greg ‘Ninja’ Pirtle and ‘the Brain’ both had their 7-3 tickets punched as well. ‘The Brain’ is trying to come off life support for this year while ‘Ninja’ is just living the life ... picking up a new hobby ... gonna be a bass player for throw-back 70’s band. Hey, didn’t make the cut as lead singer but bass is cool ... a few less strings but lots more soul.
Must be working for minimum wage at 6-4 we see Adam ‘the Ghost’ Goodaker, and a man already practicing for his gig at Clay ‘Wedding Bell Blues’ Thornberry’s upcoming nuptials ... keeping the flies off the bride in the “down by the creek” ceremony ... Charlie ‘Atomic Bomb’ Hust. ‘Wedding Blues’ didn’t check in this week, uh-oh, those shackles of love already getting pretty tight. Hey, don’t forget Miss secret weapon herself, ‘Expert’ Angie ‘Bam Bam’ Peercy.
Three of ‘em sitting on the 5-5 fence, including Doug ‘Double D’ Dennis, Ralph ‘D1’ Sharp and Mack ‘the Knife’ Townsend. ‘Knife’ is a busy fellow, gotta take a few days off at Townsend’s Food Giant and Zip Line Center this week, gonna catch his Braves a game or two as they stumble into the playoffs. Him and Steve ‘Skeeter’ Duncan will be hanging with the Upton bros and then off to Bowling Green for a security detail protecting the WKU women’s volleyball team ... hey, Bobby P has been in town now for about 6 months, that’s when he gets crazy. Then that ultra-talented tandem will travel on up to Lexington, gonna suit up with the Cats ... playing both sides of the ball. ‘Knife’ of course will be the new signal-caller ... already wired. One problem, what happens when that order for 12 chops and 3 pizzas comes in right in the middle of an audible. No problem, just hand the ball to ‘Skeeter’ and what him work his magic.
Time to move in to week #6. Before we go, got a brain teaser for ya ... what’s the difference in the Wrigley Field ivy and the Cubs manager ... the ivy comes back every year!
Get those picks in. Call 667-2068 or email:chust@journalenterprise.com
Week 6 games
Caldwell Co. @ Green County
Pad. Tilghman @ Madisonville
Washington @ Stanford
Maryland @ Florida State
West Virginia @ Baylor
Missouri @ Vanderbilt
Philadelphia @ NY Giants
Seattle @ Indianapolis
Kansas City @ Tennessee
tiebreaker:
New Orleans @ Chicago